Amelia is taking PRS (Parish School of Religion). She really enjoys going to the class and is interested in the books. Last week I pulled out the giant bible my Aunt had given to us when Brian and I got married. This book is huge, Amelia marveled at the size and the golden edges of the book. She showed Anna... "look at the edges they are gold"! This bible has some illustrations in it and she was fascinated with the stations of the cross, she just stared at it, studying every illustration. I asked her if she knew what it was about and she shook her head no. I gave her a very brief and delicate description of each picture. I did not want to scare her. The next day she was studying the pictures again and then drew this picture.
I remember being scare of God & Jesus as a kid, I went to Catholic grade school until the 5th grade and I remember the day of my first confession. I sat in church with my family and cried through most of the service so anxious about having to go into that little room and confess to the priest, telling him all the bad things I have done.
The time came for me to confess... with sweaty palms I opened the door and entered the dark wooden box. The priest said he had seen me crying during mass and asked me why. That's all I remember, I think my mind must have went on autopilot because I don't know what I said, I don't know what else he said. I just remember how scared I was.
I am really torn about being catholic at this time in my life, I have some conflicting views from the church's views. I want my girls to have some sort of religious background but I don't want to scare them into being good people. I just want them to be good people.